Ranked! Presents: The Best Worst Things About “The Room”

Some have called Tommy Wiseau’s The Room a cult-classic. Some have called it “the worst movie ever made.”  Regardless of where you are on that spectrum, one thing is for sure: Viewing the film is most definitely an experience.  My friend Josiah is here to elaborate on just that…

JL: Oh hai Lou! The Room is exactly what Lou referenced above. It’s terrible. It looks like it belongs in the Scary Movie comedy-spoof franchise. Know what else? I absolutely love it. The Room finally made its way to theaters on January 10, and my fellow Geekiverse comrades Seth Zielinski & Nate Lockhart accompanied me to local Regal. In fact, The Room did so well at the box office that night, it’s getting an encore tonight, January 19. Read about our raucous experience here. Major, major applause to both Seth & my friend Rich Ruiz for bringing this to my attention (for the last few years, to be fair). So what makes The Room awesome and awful? Lets dive in. Dammit, this list is tearing me apart…

 

The Top 10 Best Worst Things About The Room

 

10. Open Doors

The Room is consistent in all that it does. Even if that “consistency” sometimes means that things are consistently inconsistent (follow me?). What appear to be major plot elements fall by the wayside after being mentioned and never discussed again. Breast cancer. Getting into trouble with drugs. One of the most notable visual elements of the film is the constant opening of doors, then the subsequent leaving-the-doors open. Why not close the door? The ultimate moment comes when a certain character knocks on the door and enters, actually closes the door, and then another character knocks on the door mere seconds later. Why didn’t they just come in together?

9. The Visuals & Sound Don’t Always Sync Up

There are many occurrences where the dialogue doesn’t line up visually with what’s happening with the audio. Enough said. Oh, the improper camera focus at times is another rock solid job of editing at its finest.


My Theater Experience: The Room


8. Recurring Lines

The Room features some mind numbing lines where it appears that none of the characters have been listening to each other. We could probably do an entire Ranked! based on the best lines from the movie (several of which appear here). The constant reminder that Mark and Johnny (Tommy Wiseau) are best friends, which apparently means nothing. “He’s my best friend.” The sad reminder that shows us it’s an insecure Johnny vs. the World. “Everybody betray me.” Man, tough break after tough break for our American (yet somehow European) star.

7. Johnny’s Banking Experience

This one probably falls by the wayside in general, but think about it. Johnny is a banker in the story, one who has been promised an apparent promotion. His totally relevant (irrelevant) recounting of what happened when he arrived to San Francisco is quite humorous. He had a check for $2,000, but they wouldn’t cash it because it was an out-of-state check (banker friends, tell me that isn’t funny). Additionally, who could forget the coffee shop scene (in which nobody pays for their beverages)? Johnny chats with Mark about a new client the bank just got, then gets super defensive when Mark asks who the client is. All of this before a random, awkward transition to a rather lude question (see video)…

6. Speaking of which…San Francisco Galore!

There many, many long, establishing sequences that pan the Golden Gate bridge, along with the Disney Store, a Borders book store (RIP), and other sometimes copy and pasted shots of San Francisco. All of this serves no purpose. But it’s there, just in case you forgot where the movie was taking place (the movie takes place in San Francisco, by the way).


Get a Fandango gift card to purchase tickets to Tommy Wiseau’s next movie, Best F(r)iends


5. The Football

Image: Rotten Tomatoes

Johnny and his friends absolutely love to play catch with a football. It’s so American! Shockingly, it doesn’t really serve a purpose. Sometimes, dialogue isn’t even present during these toss-and-catch sessions. Things get so intense at one point, Peter the Psychologist falls and gets hurt, somehow really badly. In fact, another character fell earlier in the film and somehow seemed to get concussed and break a bone all in one shot. Speaking of Peter the Psychologist…

4. An Actor Gets Replaced Mid-Movie

Pete 1
Pete 2

I’m not really sure what happened here. The story is probably out there somewhere, but I almost don’t want to know. Johnny’s friend and psychologist, Peter, is played by one actor one minute and a different the next. It’s about mid-way through the film, then a completely different actor shows up. The kicker is that the replacement looks nothing like the original. In fact, there’s no resemblance whatsoever. I was told before I saw the movie that someone was replaced, but I still legitimately had to ask Rich if Peter was that character when it happened.

3. The Back-to-Back Fight

Johnny & best friend Mark get into a scuffle while at a party. Once they’re broken up, the crowd goes outside for some “fresh air.” Seconds later, back inside, Johnny and Mark have a go at it for round 2. It’s almost like they shot the fight numerous times, then decided during editing that they wanted to feature two fights.

2. “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!”

Ah, an absolute classic. It’s a shame this didn’t make number one on our list. Johnny’s classic line (relatively early in the movie, ahead of most of Johnny’s problems) is one of the most memorable lines in the film. I’m not sure if the best part is the delivery from Wiseau or the change in accent.

1. Spoons!

Image: As Eaten On TV

If you saw The Room in theaters on January 10, you likely experienced a spoon shower. During the movie, a likely filler piece of furnishing became a legend – a framed portrait of a plastic spoon. It inexplicably shows up throughout the film. Every time the spoon made an appearance, fans in the theater yelled “SPOON” and threw a handful of plastic spoons. Yeah, it sounds dumb, but so is The Room. And I loved every minute of it.

 

Dishonorable Mentions

I truly struggled to get this list down to just ten. How could anyone forget “Oh Hai Mark?” “Hi doggy!” The way Johnny carries those roses upside down. The way he pays for them before the cashier can finish telling him the price. The “cheep cheep cheep” taunt. The 5 ridiculous, awkward, odd, awkward, gross, awkward sex scenes that happen in the film’s first 30 minutes or so.

There you have it! Go see The Room tonight in theaters. Odds are it’s in driving distance. You won’t regret it. Well, mostly. Give me your favorite moments from the film in the comments below.

Stay tuned for The Geekiverse’s coverage of Tommy Wiseau’s next movie, Best F(r)iends, which comes to theaters this March.

Past versions of Ranked!

The Top 10 Rogue One Moments That Took Our Breath Away

Gotham’s Greatest Villains

10 Things You May Not Have Known About Black Lightning

Best of Ranked! 2017 Edition

 

Josiah LeRoy is The Geekiverse’s Editor In Chief. If you enjoy The Room and all that accompanies it, follow Josiah on Twitter

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About Josiah LeRoy 321 Articles
Husband, writer, drummer, captain. Founder of The Geekiverse. It doesn't matter who is president when Christ is King.

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