Best of Ranked! – 2017 Edition

Welcome to 2018, everybody.  Let’s all be honest, 2017 brought us very little to cheer about.  My son turned 1, I got an amazing Every Time I Die hoodie from my wife, the Bills gifted us all with a playoff berth after 17 excruciating years, and somehow the Geekiverse let me write 15 Ranked! articles.  2017 Recap! Go!

Okay, I feel like I need to be honest about something.  To be fair, I didn’t write ALL of the Ranked! articles.  3 of my favorite cohorts, Josiah, Seth, and Pete, took turns filling in for me when I was most definitely too busy (see: falling asleep on the couch at approximately 8:13pm).  Also, most of the articles baring my name are written by my aforementioned 1 year old.  Makes sense now, doesn’t it?  Either way, I’m going to give you a Ranked! of the 2017 Ranked!’s, regardless of which adult and/or baby wrote it.  2018 is looking up, eh?

10. 10 Most Galactastic Quotes From a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Was it my best work of the year?  Of course not.  Are any of these my best work? Of course not.  But this list was fun to do, as the Star Wars franchise has no shortage of memorable lines scattered throughout their films.  Also, now that I’m writing about this, I should probably update it, as a new chapter of the Star Wars saga has recently been released.  Sigh.  Okay, just take this off the list and forget we had this conversation, yeah?

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9. Most Underrated Superheroes

I’m a superhero nerd.  A superhero connoisseur, if you will.  A bit of a superhero savant.  I’m also annoying, aren’t I?  Yeah, okay I’ll move on.  Most of these characters do not get the love they deserve, so I felt the need to give them that very specific comic book affection.  Also, the #10 spot is a f—ing dinosaur.  So yeah, it’s deserving.

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8. The X-Men Movies

The first of 3 place holders not written by me (or my toddler son.  Because, get it?  I suck at writing), my pal Seth Zielinski ranked the X-Universe post Logan, but pre-Disney buying back the rights to the characters, bringing their grand total to…well, owning 27% of our planet.  Why is this piece in here?  Because Seth’s article is well thought out, well written, and has 2 of my all-time faves in the top 5.  Why is #8?  Because he doesn’t have Deadpool in the top 5.  Silly, silly Seth.  I still love you, but First Class better than Deadpool???  You know what, I’ll just call you, because we really need to talk about this…

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7. Gotham’s Greatest Villains

This gem of a piece was written by the Geekiverse’s OG and creator, Josiah.  For those not “in the know,” the article breaks down the brightest and craziest that Fox’s Gotham has given its fans in the way of villains.  I was not “in the know,” so naturally most of his list was brand new information to me.  But that’s mostly because I find Gotham to be a complete trash fire of a show that spits on the legacy of the Caped Crusader and his Rogues Gallery.  Too much?  Yeah, I’ll take that one.  And I’ll also admit that the reason it is at #7, despite being a VERY good article, is because I refuse to put anything written about Gotham any higher (lower?  I’m confused how lists work).

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6. Best Scene Stealing Supporting Characters (Movie Edition)

I love movies.  I love ALL kinds of movies.  So, I did a lot of extra research on this article, and by that, I mean I spent 15 minutes more researching than I normally do before sitting down to write, meaning I spent 15 minutes overall on research.  Regardless, this piece was one of my favorites that I’ve ever written, based purely on the love I have for the performances documented.

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5. Captain America

I’m willing to bet that if you asked 10 people who know me, “Hey, tell me 5 things about Lou.” 7 out of these 10 people would bring up Captain America in some capacity, and the other 3 would not because I only know 7 people and those other 3 are just paid actors to complete this survey.  Cap is my boy.  I literally have him tattooed on me (as well as others that most do not acknowledge).  My wife at times questions who I love more, her or Chris Evans.  She knows the truth though…that I couldn’t possibly choose between them.  So yeah, I love Captain America.  Read my article, please.

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4. Most WTF Spider-Man Moments

Because this article involves many instances that are, in fact, bats— crazy.  That is all.

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3. Superhero Film Casting Choices

Other than a 25 page paper I once wrote in an Honors English class my freshman year of college on a book that was, and I s— you not, one third in Latin, this is the hardest I’ve ever worked at writing anything.  Sad? Maybe, but I’m trying to be honest here.  If I wrote this list today, I guarantee it would look different, and would more than likely look different the day after that as well.  I got a tremendous amount of feedback about this article, most of which about how I was a moron who made moronic decisions on this list, but still, feedback is a good thing.  Maybe I should re-write this for the new year, after Black PantherInfinity WarVenom have been released.  What’s that?  I shouldn’t be allowed near a Word Document for my remaining time on this Earth? That’s fair.

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2. Top Sci-Fi Films of All Time

I’m very aware that this article should be in the number 1 spot.  It got incredible feedback, was well researched, and was beyond informative to this non-sci-fi nerd.  But this is MY godd*** list, and refuse to have anyone OTHER than me in the #1 spot.  You hear that, Pete?!  This is my town!  But no really, this article is fantastic, and if you didn’t get to it the first time, here’s your chance.  It caused quite a bit of discourse, but he gives good reasoning for his order, as well as his surprise #1 pick.  **Begrudgingly high fives the Grumpy Geek**

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1. Most Gut-Wrenching, Soul-Crushing Game of Thrones Deaths

I truly believe that Game of Thrones is a gift from our Maker above.  No show, other than maybe Golden Girls or Step by Step, has ever filled me with a true spectrum of emotions quite like GoT has.  Therefore, I poured my blood (not really), sweat (I actually don’t sweat much), and tears (yes, lots of them. It was 2 in the morning and I just wanted to go to bed) into this article about those fictional few whose deaths meant more, WAY more, than a fictional death should.  Read at your own risk, please, and don’t blame me for the leaking from your eyes…or anywhere else for that matter. Gross.


Welp, there you have it.  My Favorite Ranked! articles from 2017.  Here’s to another year of The Geekiverse (hopefully) letting me put these lists out in a semi-regular manner-……. what’s that?  The Grumpy Geek is taking over all of my duties from here on out?….Cool.

Lou Mattiuzzo is a full time teacher, full time husband, full time father and full time superhero enthusiast.  The Bills made the playoffs, so literally nothing else matters in the world until next Sunday.

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About thesweetestlou 62 Articles
Full Time Teacher. Full Time Husband. Full Time Father. Lover of: Superheroes, Punk Rock, Tattoos, Sabres, Bills, Yankees, Soccer, Pizza, Coffee

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